The Side Of Love Nobody Talks About

On Mondays the LGBTQ Center of Orange County comes to the GSA class in room 12 to talk about how we feel about certain topics, and yesterday one of the opening questions was “What does love mean to you?”

Everyone talked about how love is this great thing that makes you all giggly and warm inside when you find your “perfect match” but to me that’s not all what love meant at all.

To me love means you have to make sacrifices to love the one that you truly want to be with to me love hurts. So i ask you what does love mean to you? Leave a response for a chance to be featured in next week’s article “What does love mean to you?”

Ahh yes love don’t you just love love??

well i don’t in fact i hate love, i hate it almost as much as i hate you.

YES I HATE YOU.

i hate you so much. but if i hate you why do i still love you?

love is suppose to make you feel warm and cozy, it’s suppose to feel like nobody in the whole entire world can come between us but that’s not what i feel when i’m with you.

do you wanna know what your love feels like to me?

your love hurts it feels like boulders are getting thrown on my chest one after another. so many boulders that when you breath it could be your last breath it feels like anyone can come between us and take you away from me.

your love hurts.

it hurts more then the first time i ever cried over a stupid boy but this, this feels 10x worse then before. 

I’ve spent days weeks hell I’ve spent months crying over you but you’ll never understand why.

i have loved you harder then i have ever loved another human being but then again you’ll never understand why hell i won’t either.

when nobody had your back who was there for you? me that’s who.

when you needed someone to stay up with to talk about all your problems who was there for you? ME that’s who.

who would make the hour drive to their aunts house then sneak out just to see you? ME I DID THAT.

and when you went down the rabbit hole and shattered into 500 puzzle pieces who followed behind you and picked up the broken pieces and put the puzzle back together? I F**KING DID.

and all for what? for you to go behind my back and give your so call “love” to another girl but supposedly better? but hey like they say life moves on it gets better am i right.

but no not for me it doesn’t it’s like you put this spell on me every time you call me i answer with in a heartbeat

you say “i’m sorry i know i f**ked up please forgive me i’m a better person now i promise, i miss the way you loved me there’s no other love like yours.”

i took a long pause before i responded with “duh of course i forgive you i’ll always love you forever and always I’ve missed you like crazy.”

stupid of me to think anyone would change their ways when they know you always go right back

and all that just for me to get a “hey girly i’m pregnant and he’s the father” type of text crazy huh

but was that the last straw for me or did i stay?

did i leave him and get back with him the next week or did i never speak to him again?

is he blocked or do we will still text from time to time?

i’ll leave that up to you to wonder if i finally learned my lesson or not. 

So i ask you again what does love mean to you? Leave a response for a chance to be featured in next week’s article “What does love mean to you?”